Well, we went today for our pre-op appointment for Robert's surgery. All went well. The boy is growing like a weed. He is now 11 pounds 12 ounces and 24 3/4 inches long. He's HUGE! He was cleared for surgery assuming all of his lab work comes back ok.
So now I have to prepare him for surgery. I guess there isn't really anything that I have to do to get him ready. I think it's more I have to get myself ready. I don't know that I really want to get rid of my "smooshy" face. I want him to have his cleft fixed and I know it's time but it seems like it got here too fast. It seems like just yesterday I made his appointment and we had over a month to wait. Now here it is and it's less then a week away.
I think the part that I am dreading the most is giving someone my child and getting back a child that doesn't look the way my child did. I'm not sure that makes sense. When I give them Robert I will be giving them a child with a cleft, my baby with his wide smile. When he gets done with his surgery and we get him back, he's not going to look the same. His smile isn't going to be the same, his face is going to look so different.
Maybe dreading is not the right word to use. Maybe this is all just bittersweet. Maybe I'm crazy. I hope you will keep my little one in your thoughts as we get closer to Tuesday.
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